Why I Am Not A Sports Fan
By Chris on Oct 20, 2007 in Observations
To be a sports fan in Cleveland, Ohio is to be a thirsty man in a desert. After so many mirages of with the hope of water, eventually, you just give up.
From Wikipedia:
There is an alleged curse on the city of Cleveland, Ohio, that prevents them from winning a championship, and to this date, has the biggest sports championship drought in all of the United States, with the last Cleveland title in 1964 when the Cleveland Browns won the NFL Championship (pre-Super Bowl era). The Cleveland Indians last won the World Series in 1948 and the Cleveland Cavaliers has never won the NBA Finals (they recently lost in 2007 to the San Antonio Spurs). Some of their most infamous moments have been detailed with a “The______” notion (The Catch, The Drive, The Shot, and The Fumble), not to mention Red Right 88 and the collapse in Game 7 of the 1997 World Series (most commonly referred as The Error). Cleveland’s misery is so detailed, that in 2004, ESPN named Cleveland the most tortured sports city.[4] The cause for Cleveland’s misery is unknown, although some can trace it to either Rocky Colavito’s departure to the Detroit Tigers in 1960, or Jim Brown’s stunning retirement from the NFL in 1965 to produce the World War II film The Dirty Dozen.
Alleged? Ha!
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My family believes I was the subject of experimentation by aliens visiting in a UFO. You see, my sports-gland is nonfunctional.
Family get-togethers are particularly awkward. Post-Dinner Thanksgiving reveals my shortcomings most clearly because I’m clueless about what’s going on, who’s playing, and why. To be fair, it took them a while to discern my condition. Otherwise, I’m sure I would have been flung from the nest early just like any other odd-smelling mutant.
Nowadays, they just smile and nod… And I freak out every time I hear my dottering grand-dame yell at the screen, “Get him, GET him, GET HIM!!!” as the player with the ball crosses further and further afield.
Evidence of my condition; I feel compelled to note for your readers that the sport Mama K is inflamed over is US Football and not “Football” or “soccer”…
Gerall | Oct 22, 2007 | Reply