Unquiet Desperation

I’ve been thinking a lot about the stories we tell ourselves.

Each of is the sum total of the stories we’ve been told, that we’ve lived, and that we’ve told ourselves. Some use these stories to grow, some use them to hide, some just use them to fool themselves.

I’ve been witness to some very different stories since moving out here. I’ve met some very rich men, some very poor struggling artists, and some people who are just skating along on the thin ice of this failing economy.  I’ve seen a great number of people who seem to espouse the “fake it until you make it” mentality. Bigger, better, faster, more…people are being driven by the basest instincts and the most primal of urges.

I’ve seen all of the Seven Deadly Sins in various forms.  Babylon isn’t a place, it’s a state of mind.

We’re all told morality tales when we are going up. Fairy tales, Aesop’s fables, religious stories meant to show the path to a lasting happiness. We’re shown, over and over again, that virtues are to be treasured, and that the easy way is generally bound to fail.  Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to Dark Side.

It’s only taken me sixteen weeks to realize the truth of all of these tales. I’ve met a great number of people with their angles.  They are like caricatures. They really seem to think that they can cheat their way to the top, to happiness, to Nirvana.  Pride…there is so much unearned Pride here…it’s a disease.

If there’s a problem in the economy, you’d never know it by the sheer number of Jaguars and BMWs driving around my apartment complex. This is the illusion of success, leased cars when you cannot afford to get your kids new winter coats. I’m not making this up. This actually happens out there.

I’m not sure what stories these people are telling themselves. Maybe these are stories of entitlement…they deserves the big cars, the new iPods, the Next Big Shiny because of how hard their lives are.  There’s always a justification, always the safety hatch of rationalization.

Illusion. Kool-Aid.  They actually BELIEVE these things.

Now, I was raised differently.  My parents may not realize that I was actually listening, but I was.   I find myself falling back to the stories that I grew up with. Compassion, honor, humility, common sense.  I was not raised to feel that I was entitled to any of the toys these people revel in. I was raised to know that I had to work for things, and nothing worthwhile comes easily.

There is a place in our hearts for Virtue, and I rely on it every day to guide my interactions.  The more I rely on Virtue, the more secure I feel in my decisions. I know that I’m operating from a place of sense, not from ego or id.  I lean on these old stories, the ones close to my heart, because I believe that we should expect more from ourselves than Enlightened Self-Interest.

If you can take anything away from this rant, it would be this: Believe in the old stories, the ones that appeal to the Better Angels of our Nature.  Business these days is a trap, the banking crisis has taught us that. If there is evil in the world, that’s where you’ll find it, amongst the people who can justify any action, any injustice because “it’s just business.” Cling to Honor, Honestly, Justice, Compassion, Valor, Humility.

These things are True. Don’t fall prey to Illusion in the New Year.

Tags: New Year's Day

This entry was posted on Sunday, December 28th, 2008 at 4:43 pm and is filed under Essays. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.