Recharging the Soul
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I’m not sure about you guys, but the world is wearying me more easily these days.
It might be the last two years of absurdly hard work on my part, it might be the move back home. It might be starting a new job. it might be all of these things, but I feel like it goes deeper than that.
Sleep can recharge the body, but how does one recharge the soul?
That’s where the weariness lies, I think. Life fatigue — the spirit is weak. The speed at which things happen, the constant barrage of media, of the tasks you MUST do, the sense of false urgency that surrounds us today.
I was out in L.A. when I realized that I spent so much time “reasoning” things out (read: whistling in the dark), trying to control situations around me, that in the end, I felt like it was all slipping through my fingers because you cannot hold on to so much. My wife calls it living in my head. Critical thinking is good, but sometimes it’s better to feel; to drink in life instead of breaking it down so you can digest it.
The soul doesn’t exist to consume the world. It’s meant to experience, revel in, and produce beauty.
I know that all of you reading this are busy people, so I ask you, how do you take care of your soul?
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May 6th, 2009 at 7:15 am
You’re not alone with those feelings. I’ve been processing my thoughts for a blog entry along the same lines as I’ve recently been wrestling with the classic existential questions myself.
I could get into it here but I’d rather enjoy this conversation in person over coffee a friend.
May 6th, 2009 at 7:26 am
Wow, tall order.
Doing my best to keep balance in my life helps. Basically recognizing when I am out of whack (too much work, too much extra-curriculars, not enough time with family, not enough time to take care of the house) helps me to bring things back into line.
I had a similar, though not nearly as intense, situation as you did with work, and realized that for everyone’s sanity I needed to reduce my obligations.
But that doesn’t really say how I bring things into line. Here are some things that help to recharge my soul.
1. Finding some down time just for me. This could be a seated meditation, getting a spa treatment every so often, or even walking around downtown, going to a cafe, reading a good book, doing some window shopping, on a nice weather day. Finding time to completely disengage from everything, even if it’s a couple hours, is pretty essential to me, especially when life gets so busy.
2. Went on a 3-day Zen retreat that was extremely helpful for me. The first time I had ever done it and it helped give me some much-needed perspective on some things in my life. It’s not for everyone but it was fascinating.
3. Reconnecting with family and friends. Calling a good friend I haven’t talked to in a while. Seeing friends socially when applicable. Going on a date with The Mister. Taking the dog (and The Mister) for a walk. Seeing my neice and nephew, or friend’s children.
4. Finding fun little things to do interspersed in my day to help with the monotony of my day job (like, say, Twitter, or listening to podcasts, or even food days at the office).
5. Making lots of lists when life gets overwhelming to try to figure out priorities and what I want and need to do. Crossing out the stuff that isn’t important.
6. Trying to get regular exercise when possible. Really helps my energy level.
7. Making sure to get enough sleep. Sleeping in at least one day a week. If I’m running a sleep deficit, everything else is so much harder to managd.
8. Cooking tends to relax and recharge me because I enjoy it, but can be a double-edged sword when I take on a challenge that is a little too time-intensive.
May 6th, 2009 at 8:15 am
Music. Music feeds my soul. Music, and driving with the windows down on a cool Spring morning. That, and figuring out something new, learning a new skill. Oh yeah, and authentic experiences. Not those experiences that you have where everything is stilted; experiences where you come face-to-face with the pleasant side of humanity. Yummy for the soul. And meditation. Meditation feeds my soul bigtime. Laughter, storytelling, cuddles, and petting my cat. These too.
I’m starting to suspect I have a fat soul.
May 6th, 2009 at 8:36 am
There are two things that are important for keeping sane.
1) ::Doing Something You Love:: When I’m doing theater, H says I’m a different, less crabby, less overwrought person. And while doing a show has its own set of stressors, they can be GOOD stressors. Doing things that appeal to you, things that are work but don’t feel like work, get you away from the roles of ‘employee’ and’father’ and ‘husband’, and let you be you for a while.
2) ::The Child Mind:: It’s the Zen philosophy of looking at the world as a child would, rather than a cynical, underwhelmed adult. It’s not as easy as it sounds. Sometimes it takes radical change to make this happen. Like when we were in China for three weeks, everything was new to some degree, every moment seemed longer, every day felt like three. We were off autopilot and recording everything we saw, like a child does (and reminded me why kids need naps, because record mode is tiring). Life becomes more intrinsically interesting, and the brain operates at a different level. Get yourself to do this every now and again, by any means necessary, and you’ll be better off.
May 6th, 2009 at 11:28 am
I find that weariness of the soul often comes from dissonance between goals and actions. Take some time and think where you want to go in life – write it down, examine from a variety of angles, rewrite as necessary. Take your time, there is no rush. Once you’ve got a set of goals, look at your actions and projects to see if they align with those goals, get rid of or re-align the ones that don’t. I find the process energizing and recommend that everyone does it at least once a year.
BTW – Don’t forget personal goals – a happy home life and raising productive, well adjusted kids are excellent goals that I highly recommend for anyone with interest in those aspects of life.
May 6th, 2009 at 8:14 pm
I think you get drained in an area of your life when you want (or need) to do that certain thing, but don’t do it for some reason.
Consider eating and drinking. You eat when you’re hungry. You drink when you’re thirsty. Every activity in life should have a name for its corresponding desire. Sometimes I get DVD-y, or Xbox-y. If I was starving, I wouldn’t forgo food simply because I thought I “shouldn’t” or that I should be doing something “better.” or “more productive.” When I’m hungry, eating food *is* the most productive thing I can do at that time. So I eat. Likewise, if I’m write-y enough, then I write. If I’m camping-y enough, I (at the soonest possible weekend) go camping.
I don’t think of it as recharging, because I rarely feel that drained. It’s more keeping the capacitors topped off.
May 7th, 2009 at 3:35 pm
Perhaps this is taking things the opposite way, but I recommend placing yourself in a situation where you have to act quickly and decisively. My own soul recharger for many years was the fencing group I was a part of. Yeah, I left physically exhausted, but felt very alive at the same time.
May 8th, 2009 at 8:57 am
I had the same feeling in the past year. I think the election plus the financial news plus life changes just add up to “too much”.
For me, I just accepted that I can’t do everything that I think I want to do, and I just focus on the things that I have to do, and the things that are most rewarding, and then (if there’s any time left) the things I want to do in the moment.
And music helps. A lot. Shall we play at Origins?
May 11th, 2009 at 7:25 pm
I agree with James I do something I love. I live in LA, I am not from LA I am from Wisconsin. I get how the polluted town can really take a toll on your life and your views in general. I drive on the 10 freeway twice everyday for an hour (2 hours total) just to go 13 miles! What I do to keep sane is dance. I love dancing and having no creative outlet was really starting to kill my spirit. One of the best things about living in LA, is I go to some of the best dance teachers in the world and they are really inspiring. Also dance, of course, is exercise and everyone says if you exercise you will have more energy. One of my biggest fears is if I do decide or have to move back to the Midwest I wont have the luxury of dancing among the best. So I guess finding “what I love” has not only kept me sane in LA but it keeps me in LA.
May 17th, 2009 at 8:23 am
Now, you know me so you know how oddball it is for me to say this, but – these days, I go to church. (Granted, it’s a Unitarian church and I think I have heard the word Jesus maybe three times in a year and a half, but it’s still a church.)
I find that hour every week (or every other, or every 3 weeks…) where I sit and listen and ponder and meditate makes a difference. I am not good at taking 15 minutes a day to sit and quietly reflect. I’m just not. There is always something I have to do, and even if those “have tos” are things I enjoy, they start to wear on me. So if I take that time out on Sundays, it helps me to recharge.
I feel fortunate that we found this place where we can go and be accepted lumps and all, where people are happy to see us and where we can take refuge from both the hustle and the bustle of the rest of the week. I am sure it is this place in particular and not the general act of going to church that I like and I certainly never imagined I would be a church person. But there it is.
June 3rd, 2009 at 12:36 am
I find that soul tending is mixture of inward, outward and corporate disciplines that require us to spend time intentionally seeking the intimate company of the living God (big G). And if that doesn’t work – just for a moment I take my hands off the steering wheel and simply let go. Life, the world, the cosmic universe and all that it represents is always fluid and moving like an undulating field of Jellyfish. We just have to get around it. Letting go every once in a while gives us a chance to soak up life and rejuvenate our souls before we hit the proverbial brick wall we’re already spinning towards.
July 5th, 2009 at 7:45 pm
An obvious answer is what we did last week, at Origins. Taking the time to be with and explore excellent people, and use parts of my brain that have lain fallow during the stress of work and daily life is revitalizing. As you’ve noted elsewhere, that could likely better accomplished by meeting up at a non-convention environment, because while last week was healing, little true quality time was spent.
A less obvious answer is something that I stumbled into a few weeks back. I went to a presentation with Laura by one of the lead scientists on the Mars rover project. I have a keen interest in space science as a norm, but this presentation struck a chord of awe and wonder in me that hasn’t been tweaked in some time. I was able to see the amazing products of human ingenuity, sacrifice, and discovery on a truly grand scale, and it was a refreshing, cleansing thing.