Unquiet Desperation

I’m fortunate to have friends to game with who are witty and intelligent. We get together as a group once a week and from the Olde Fartz when we fire up Steam and play Left 4 Dead or Half Life 2: Deathmatch.

This week’s missive from Kris Johnson calling us to arms was outstanding, and must be shared.

Did someone say “Gunpowder Plot”? That means no crossbows, no rocket launchers, no gravity guns, no crowbars and no alien derezzers. Guy Fawkes wouldn’t have any of it, gentlemen!

But Guy blew it, and not in the way he intended. His little plot might
have gone more to his liking if he’d added zero-point energy weapons and red-hot rebar to the mix.

I, for one, refuse to limit myself to gunpowder in deference to a
FAILURE, sirs! I will use every resource, be it of terrestrial origin
or brought here by dimension-hopping freakshows, to blast your sorry faces to oblivion!

Remember, remember, the fifth of November
The Crossbow with Rebar so Hot
I can think of no reason
The Crossbow with Rebar
Should ever be forgot.
Shotgun, shotgun, I double-tap
To separate your skull from cap.
A rocket launched into your eye
Across the screen your corpse does fly;
my laser tripmine laid in wait
To halt your dash and foul your gait.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, WASD!
Holloa boys, holloa boys, the winner, it’s me!

The New York Times recently spent some time in Cleveland. They found some of the gems we treasure, like the Velvet Tango Room, the West Side Market, and the Beachland Ballroom.

“YOU Gotta Be Tough” was a popular T-shirt slogan worn by Clevelanders during the 1970s, a grim period marked by industrial decline, large-scale population flight and an urban environment so toxic the Cuyahoga River actually caught on fire. These days it still helps to be at least a little tough; a fiercely blue-collar ethos endures. But instead of abandoning the city, local entrepreneurs and bohemian dreamers alike are sinking roots; opening a wave of funky boutiques, offbeat art galleries and sophisticated restaurants; and injecting fresh life into previously rusted-out spaces. It’s a vibrant spirit best exemplified by Cleveland’s new all-female roller derby league, whose wry name, the Burning River Roller Girls, and home, a former GM auto factory retooled into a 60,000-square-foot sports facility, say it all.”

read more: 36 Hours – Cleveland – NYTimes.com

A number of things are coming to an end today, but the most significant at that we’re finishing moving out of our apartment in Woodland Hills, and that today is my last day at Mahalo.

Mahalo

I’m leaving Mahalo because we’re leaving L.A…not the other way around. It was a tough choice, but I believe it was the right one.  I’ve built a team I can be proud of at Mahalo, and I have every confidence that they’ll do great things in the future. The truth of the matter is that I cannot manage this excellent team from a distance. A Lead Developer needs to be on site, dealing with the day-to-day running of things.  I cannot do that if I’m moving, pure and simple. There’s no drama, no feud, nothing like that…everything is ending on good terms.

I’m going to miss the whole company, no doubt about it. These are good, hardworking people. They deserve to succeed. I cannot wait to see what they are going to do next.

Leaving Los Angeles

I’ve written a little bit about why we’re leaving L.A. in a previous post, but there’s more to it that just economics and schools. Los Angeles might as well be a different planet when you’re coming from the midwest.  There are many who have moved here and loved it, and I can see why they would. The difficulty for use was that we did it with a family.  If Cathy and I had moved out here when we re newly married, I think things might have gone differently.

Some friends here told us what they’d like most: to own a small house with a good sized yard in a good school system. They followed that up with, “but this is L.A.”  As time went by, I heard this from other people — they all wanted what we took for granted, what we gave up to move here. And many of them had given up on ever achieving it, because “this is L.A.”

We’re moving back to our families, our oldest friends, to neighborhoods that we love, schools we know we can trust, and places that we’ve loved for years. We took so much for granted…that won’t be happening again.

People will poke fun about leaving the Big City, but that’s fine with me. Cleveland is home, and always will be.

New Eyes

Some folks have asked me if this move is bittersweet. No…not really. I achieved what I wanted to achieve at Mahalo, and I learned what I needed to learn from L.A.  I’m coming away better for it. If I never left Cleveland, I would always wonder what would have happened if I had. It’s been costly, yes, but I feel I’ve gained far more than I’ve lost.

I’m looking forward to seeing home with new eyes. That alone will be amazing.

It’s official…my family and I will be moving back to Cleveland. Our last day in L.A. will be 4/17, and after that, we’ll be driving back across country while the movers put our stuff into storage for a bit.

Why are we leaving?

We’ve found that L.A. is just not for us. L.A. seems like a great city if you’re single or a couple. There are a lot of things to do, if you’re into the night life scene. We’re not really, and with the kids, it’s hard to get out much.  The main reasons we’re leaving are:

• The schools are atrocious. The worst schools I’ve ever had the misfortune to step inside. I’ve never seen a state so proud of something so completely abyssmal.
• It’s too damn expensive. You cannot even USE the car insurance you pay ($260/mo for our cars), because if you are in a single fender bender, the cost will double.  It’s why there are so many beaten-up cars on the road. You’re basically throwing money away. And rent…don’t get me started about rent.
• Crime / safety. The LAPD helicopters were over our apartment complex last week for the thrid time in as many months.
• Too many goddamn people.
• We miss proper seasons, a city we can nagivate without reams of maps, proper forests and parks (The Cleveland Metroparks are AMAZING, and should not be taken for granted), our friends and family.

Where will we be living?

We’re settling in with my inlaws in Shaker Heights until we find a place. We’ll likely be renting for a bit, but if we find the right house at the right price, we might buy. Where is yet unknown.  We’ll be working that out.

Will there be a party celebrating our return?

I have it on good authority that there will be.

Will you be going to Origins?

I’m going to try, yes.

May I follow along with your Grand Adventure?

I’ll be writing about the trip across county, much as I did when we moved out here. You’ll be able to follow along from the comfort of your own home.

(special thanks to robotskirts for the awesome “How far is Ohio?” graphic, originally from Superpoop.com)

photo credit: OctopusHat

I’m happy to say that the first Refresh Cleveland gathering was a success. We met up for dinner and beers at the Winking Lizard in Lakewood, and topics of conversation included:

• We have a lot of talented folks in this town. Why are they not speaking to each other?
• The Cleveland Web Standards Association is a Good Thing. Go. Attend. Support.
• Cleveland Day of .NET and the Worthiness of Rails.
• The pitfalls of freelancing.
• General frustration with the tech-lag at agencies in town. Anyone just discovering that RSS is a Good Idea really needs to get out more.
• Never let marketers drive design or development decisions.
• Cleveland Web Association lunches we discussed. Snarky blog post to follow.
• Oregon Trail
• The keys to a good presentation.

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